Friday, January 9, 2009

Irony

I haven't been here in a while and I am sure that you will find the reason quite ironic. I haven't written as all of my possible subjects are very personal to me and I have hesitated to write about them. The real irony lies in the fact that what I am about to disclose to my reader is very personal, but, at this time, this seems to be the best outlet for my confession.

I deal with depression and anxiety on a daily basis. Until my recent diagnosis last year, I dealt with my condition painfully and unsuccessfully. I have been on medication for the last year and it seems to work...but not so much in the last four months. I recently revisited a very dark place in my life and could not find my way out of it (the other irony is that I was drawn to this place by another voyeuristic website, and I am now talking about it on Blogger). I tried to reason with myself and just sleep as much as possible. I was only successful with the sleeping part.

I have now reached a place of moderate understanding and now find that my temporary neurotic thoughts have now been replaced by strong pangs of regret and sadness due to the very important people that I have disappointed and worried during this time. I have only one true Blogger Follower and I am hoping that she will read this and accept my sincerest apologies. I did not attend an important family event due to my irrational thoughts and fears. I am embarrassed that my absense was due to a preoccupation with thoughts of someone who has never deserved my attention or consideration.

For this I am truly sorry.